what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
