In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Randomize
