I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
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The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
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My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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