I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
