So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
