i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
you made out with another girl for some wings
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
