I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
operation harelip BJ is a go
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
