It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
