Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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