sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
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Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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