I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
