whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
birth control should be required to get into college
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
