Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
