So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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