Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize