oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
