You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
