You smell like stripper and shame
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
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