Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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