I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
