hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
