All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
