i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Drunk is not a location!
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
