it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
