I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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