i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I have fence marks all over my body
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Randomize
