just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
The Olympian is in my bed
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
