I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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