i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
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I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
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Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
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