i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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