if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize