But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize