I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
