she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Im part way to drunk.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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