Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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