discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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