gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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