i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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