please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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