I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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