I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
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