I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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