Nicole vs. Life
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
