Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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