therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Randomize
