apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
