I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
