Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
