How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
