Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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