I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
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he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
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At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
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