69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
