you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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