As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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