I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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