none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
This is my gift to your gina
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
