I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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