No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw