i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist