We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night