I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.