Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
