I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.